14th January 2014

Dearest LB & GY,

Last weekend was harrowing. I don't know why I came to this stage of emotions.

I think truthfully, I would try to answer this question :

1) I am most afraid of failing the children

2) I teach them not to give up and if I gave up.......

3) I feel the pressure and the need to live up to my hero status

4) There's a part in me that wants to challenge the norm which I feel or think is wrong

In all honesty, after the weekend, I have come to be tired, stressed and unsure of myself. Unsure of my judgement and wondering if I am indeed doing the right thing or am I pushing too hard or am I not thinking through properly.

So, like with everything, I need your guidance. I need a sign to lead me to what I should do next. I know people have told me move on, let go and accept. What have I been taught? I am confused. There should be justice and if justice is not served, do I stand by to watch it go down? If something is not right, do I stand by to watch it go down? Or do I comfort myself in knowing that I have tried and there is only so much I can do.

I would like to focus better on my work.

Please guide me.

Please guide me with the strength, the wisdom and clarity to make the rightest decision. Please guide me with the courage to follow through with what I need to do. Please guide me with tenacity and unwavering faith to see the light in the darkest moments.

Thank You.

Eileen