Dearest LB & GY,
Thank you for an awesome training session this morning. I pray for my knees. Am I doing too much?
I would like to just have a conversation with you today.
Of course, it goes without saying that I am thankful for everything in my life and for a life that has treated me and all my loved ones very well and blessed us with great abundance of everything. I am, I am grateful for that.
I am not sure, but I think I'm feeling a little bit lost. Especially with the volunteer, trying to make a difference work that I am doing. I'm actually not even sure what I am doing for that anymore. I think if you asked me, of course, I 100% would like to give the children a chance at life. At least half of the chances that I got in my life, if not more. I do so want to do that. But I am questioning if I am doing it for the right reasons. I don't have an answer it seems, as to why I do it. Why am I doing it? Just to help? Just to make a difference? Would I make a difference? Then, I was being very emotional and personal with one of the caretakers and really - who am I to judge? I don't have children so I don't know how it is like to bring children up in this world. Everyone has their own way. And style. My parents aren't perfect, but they're perfect in my eyes. Well, sometimes. To be honest.
I need to find the right path again. I need to do this, no.. I WANT to do this for the right reasons. I am only worried and afraid my reasons are wrong. I'm talking ego and recognization. I need to know that I don't want those. And I don't want to do it because I feel sorry or I pity the children either. Please guide me, LB & GY. I need the guidance.
Lately, I've been getting less and less patient with people in general. I don't know. And God knows, I do pray for patience everyday. And to be understanding and more compassionate. I have yet to learn to lead my life and rule it with compassion. I try. Sometimes, I do try. But what is compassion really? How do I be compassionate at work? Ok, yes,.... with outside, I can be. I know sometimes, it is just not in my place to judge or to teach and therefore, I need to be understanding and compassionate. But at work..... ? Please guide me.
Over and above all, please guide me to be a better person. In all ways. Please show me signs of your guidance. Please give me signs of reminders. I know you have showered me with kindness from everywhere. And I think I am not recipocrating enough. Please guide me with wisdom, clarity and strength. Please show me the right way and the correct ways.
Thank you for all your blessings. And guidance.
Eileen
Thank you for an awesome training session this morning. I pray for my knees. Am I doing too much?
I would like to just have a conversation with you today.
Of course, it goes without saying that I am thankful for everything in my life and for a life that has treated me and all my loved ones very well and blessed us with great abundance of everything. I am, I am grateful for that.
I am not sure, but I think I'm feeling a little bit lost. Especially with the volunteer, trying to make a difference work that I am doing. I'm actually not even sure what I am doing for that anymore. I think if you asked me, of course, I 100% would like to give the children a chance at life. At least half of the chances that I got in my life, if not more. I do so want to do that. But I am questioning if I am doing it for the right reasons. I don't have an answer it seems, as to why I do it. Why am I doing it? Just to help? Just to make a difference? Would I make a difference? Then, I was being very emotional and personal with one of the caretakers and really - who am I to judge? I don't have children so I don't know how it is like to bring children up in this world. Everyone has their own way. And style. My parents aren't perfect, but they're perfect in my eyes. Well, sometimes. To be honest.
I need to find the right path again. I need to do this, no.. I WANT to do this for the right reasons. I am only worried and afraid my reasons are wrong. I'm talking ego and recognization. I need to know that I don't want those. And I don't want to do it because I feel sorry or I pity the children either. Please guide me, LB & GY. I need the guidance.
Lately, I've been getting less and less patient with people in general. I don't know. And God knows, I do pray for patience everyday. And to be understanding and more compassionate. I have yet to learn to lead my life and rule it with compassion. I try. Sometimes, I do try. But what is compassion really? How do I be compassionate at work? Ok, yes,.... with outside, I can be. I know sometimes, it is just not in my place to judge or to teach and therefore, I need to be understanding and compassionate. But at work..... ? Please guide me.
Over and above all, please guide me to be a better person. In all ways. Please show me signs of your guidance. Please give me signs of reminders. I know you have showered me with kindness from everywhere. And I think I am not recipocrating enough. Please guide me with wisdom, clarity and strength. Please show me the right way and the correct ways.
Thank you for all your blessings. And guidance.
Eileen
No comments:
Post a Comment